MGA Rulebook

MGA Rulebook 2012

Additions for this year are marked with (New Rule)

 

Qualifications To Enter An MGA Tournament

 

1.1           Must be a mediocre golfer capable of some very ugly shots

1.2           Must have a valid MGA tour card and online account to enter events

1.3           Must not have caused the MGA any embarrassment at the last tournament

1.4           Embarrassing yourself with your play is acceptable

1.5           Women are in! Christine Hardison made such a good impression on everyone at the World Championships that we decided to change the rules. In fact, we like women so much, they can even play from the ladies tees in the tournaments, assuming that is what their handicap is based on.

1.6            Wives and girlfriends at tournaments are still frowned upon.

1.7           Players must have played in 3 regular season events to be eligible to qualify for the World Championships

 

Handicapping

 

2.1           Handicaps are used to bring good players back to mediocre scores. No one in the MGA gets strokes taken off their score, only added.

 

2.2           All players with handicaps better than 18 will be given penalty strokes to compensate for their superhuman performance capabilities.

          2.2.1 The amount of penalty strokes a player carries is calculated by rounding their handicap up from .5 and down from .4, then subtracting that number from 18. (ex. Handicap of 15.4 = 15, so 18-15=3 penalty strokes) This is automatically calculated on you MGAtour.com profile. You must have at least 5 scores in to calculate a handicap.

 

2.3           Your handicap can only be represented by the handicap feature on MGAtour.com. This handicap is also only considered valid if there are five scores from within the last year.

 

2.3.1 If you have less than five scores registered to your account, you will not be able to generate a handicap and as a result will not be allowed to enter any MGA events. So put some scores in sandbagger!!

 

2.4       (NEW RULE) Your handicap on the site is based primarily on your tournament scores. Those scores are the only verifiable ones available and will help keep people from sandbagging. The player does not need to enter these scores themselves, the site takes care of that when the results are posted. User scores do still contribute to the handicap, so put all your scores in, but understand that tournament scores always weigh more heavily.

          2.4.1 As a result, your handicap will not always match your USGA handicap if you track that somewhere else. Don’t complain. We’re providing you with the fairest possible representation of your level of competitiveness, or lack there of, at MGA events.

 

Tournament Play

 

3.1           Tournaments are to be played by USGA rules. No improving lies, no mulligans, no gimmes, no grounding clubs in hazards. USGA rules! If you don’t know ‘em, there’s an app for that. Get it!

 

3.2           (NEW RULE) GPS is allowed!! We’ve decided that now that it’s so affordable on smart phones, why fight it. We suck at golf and need to know how far it is to the green from two fairways over. Don’t like this rule? Then don’t use GPS and give dirty looks to the guys who do.

 

3.3           Always hit a provisional if you think your ball may be O.B. Better safe than sorry.

          3.3.1 After hitting your provisional straight up the middle of the fairway, you have 3 MINUTES to look for your first ball where you think you lost it. After three minutes you must throw out a few F-bombs and move along, the ball is gone.

          3.3.2 If you’ve ignored all our previous suggestions and not hit a provisional, you must drop where your ball went OB and add two penalty strokes. So you hit one out of bounds, drop and add two strokes and you’re hitting four to the green. This is the one exception to USGA rules, simply because we can’t hold up the course by walking all the way back to the tee. We’re not Tiger after all.

 

3.4           (NEW RULE) Everyone should have a scorecard and keep everyone else’s scores in each foursome. It’s a lot easier to confront some loser about his cheating or terrible arithmetic skills if his score seems wrong to all three of you. At the end of the round everyone should compare front and back nine totals for each player before submitting them to the scorekeeper.

 

3.5           If a player is caught cheating he is to be humiliated and ridiculed until he either stops cheating or stops showing up. Both options are acceptable.

 

3.6           The Overall winner of each tournament is the player who shoots the lowest score including their penalty strokes. AKA lowest net score.

 

3.7           PLAYOFFS – In the event of a tie at the end of 18 holes, the tied players will contest as many playoff holes as possible and permissible by the course. If the tie cannot be broken with these holes, it will go to a putt-off on the practice green.

          3.7.1 Putt off – The players will putt at different holes of similar difficulty so no one has the advantage of seeing a line. An impartial judge will walk 10 paces from each hole for the each player to putt from. They will do this three times from different angles to the same holes and lowest total putts will win. Repeat until a winner is determined.

          3.7.2 All players who make it to the playoff and do not win are awarded a tie for second place, no matter their elimination order.

 

3.8           Prize money is distributed to the top 16 players and is automatically calculated by the site when the events are entered. The percentages of the purse are as follows. Yes, we know it doesn’t add up to 100%, but that’s because no one on this tour plays to 100% of their potential. Plus it’s the only way we could break it down so we pay 18% to the winner just like that other tour and still give something to 16th without having to cut pennies in half.

 

1st-18%

2nd-12%

3rd-10%

4th-9%

5th-8%

6th-7%

7th-6%

8th-5%

9th-4%

10th-3%

11th-2%

12th-1%

13th-.9%

14th-.7%

15th-.5%

16th-.3%

          3.8.1 Ties receive the total of the next two positions split evenly. So a tie for 2nd would receive 2nd+3rd money divided by 2.

 

3.9       Tournaments with less than 16 players will have the overall purse adjusted down by 1/16 for every player less than 16 they have. This helps keep the Global Money List accurate since obviously it is more difficult to beat 16+ players than 8. The percentage breakdown by position remains the same. Chapters are encouraged to get at least 16 players to each event so they can award the full purse.          

          3.9.1 The website will take care of all calculations and let you know the proper amounts to handout on the “money/position sheet” in your tournament documents.

 

3.10          (NEW RULE) Players may play only one of each event type (ie one F.U. Open) per year. They may play this event in any chapter they desire, but if they attempt to enter the same event a second time in another chapter, the site will block them. If the player makes the money, it will appear on the money list of the chapter they competed in and will also apply to the players Global Money total. Money won in chapters other than your home chapter cannot be transferred back to your home chapter’s money list.

          3.10.1 If you want to play as a non-scoring guest in another chapters event, that’s fine. Just contact the chapter leader and set it up outside of the website.

 

3.11        Shooting a 79 or better is automatic disqualification from the tournament. The disqualified player forfeits all money won for that tournament. Go join the Nationwide Tour asshole. They pay better anyways.

3.11.1 Players who shoot sub-80 are still eligible for the Gross Award, given to the player with the lowest gross score on the day. So while you may plummet on the money list, at least you’ll have the smallest, crappiest trophy we could find to hang on your golf bag.

 

Special Awards

 

4.1           The Gross Award is given to the player with the lowest gross score on the day. (That means the lowest score before penalty strokes are added.)

 

4.2           The Most Mediocre Award is given to the player who finishes in the middle in each tournament. It can be given based on exact position or a judgment call based on someone’s exceptionally mediocre play, but the player should finish near the middle of the event to win the award.

 

4.3           The Meltdown award is given to the player with the greatest meltdown differential. If a player shoots a 42 on the front nine and 52 on the back nine, he has a meltdown differential of ten and should be rewarded for being mediocre enough to pull that off. The award DOES NOT go to a player who goes the other way. If a player improves by ten strokes on the back nine then they are putting distance between themselves and mediocrity and that should not be rewarded.

 

MGA WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP QUALIFICATION

The format of the MGAWC is changing for 2012. Therefore pre-qualification standards have changed. Read carefully to understand what’s going on this year.

 

Friday, Date TBA – 144 spots available at day one of the 2012 MGAWC’s. These spots are open on a first come-first served basis to any MGA member with three or more regular season starts during the 2012 season. The top 72 and ties will make the cut and advance to the World Championship finals the next day.

 

Saturday, Date TBA – The players who make it past Friday will be joined by pre-qualified players and fight for the 2012 MGA World Championship! All of the players who missed the cut Friday will still be able to play for fun on Saturday if they want, or they can get wasted Friday night and show up late to spectate on the greatest display of mediocre golf the world has ever seen.

 

How to pre-qualify for Saturday at the World Championship

 

5.1       Finish top 3 on your chapter’s money list

5.2       Win a regular season event

5.3       Former World Champions and Global Money Champions get five-year exempt status

 

MGA GUIDELINES – These are some recommendations to make your rounds more entertaining. Not rules per se, but it might be good to give them a read.

 

1                      During all MGA tournaments, players are required to carry a moistened towel or rag to the green with them. The MGA will make the most inexpensive towel we can find available on our website to help everyone comply with this new rule. We will also offer nicer embroidered towels for people who want to show off how much money they make. This rule has been implemented so players will be in accordance with rule 1.2.

 

1.2                   In the rare event that a player hits a green in regulation, he may mark his ball and then choose anyone in his foursome to clean it for him before he putts. He may say, “get that will you” or “here you go” or “not too much spit” or simply, “here bitch” as he either tosses or rolls the ball to his opponent. He may also choose to just crouch to mark his ball and hold it out behind him without making eye contact with anyone. In this situation, the competitor nearest him is expected to come take the ball and clean it thoroughly before lightly placing it back in his opponent’s hand. If a player is in violation of rule 3.11 and does not have a towel with him, he must clean the ball with his shirt or pants leg.

          1.2.1                Players who hit the green in regulation may choose anyone in their foursome to clean their ball. Even if the player they choose has also hit the green in regulation, he is required to clean their ball while he is having his own ball cleaned by someone else.

 

1.3                   On all par 3’s, players who hit the green with their first shot are permitted to do the victory walk. Meaning they may toss their club either on the ground or in the general direction of their bag, snap the Velcro loose on their glove and arrogantly peel it off finger by finger before also tossing that to the ground. They may then take off walking towards the green right down the middle of the hole. During this victory walk, the player will outstretch his dominant hand, without looking back, to receive his putter from his opponent who has already picked up his club and glove for him and placed them back into his bag.

          1.3.1                If 3 out of 4 players hit the green, the sad sap that missed is responsible for all the equipment left scattered around the tee box. If by some miracle, everyone in the group hits the green, the victory walks cancel each other out and all players are responsible for their own equipment.

 

9.H.D.B.          The 9 Hole Douche Bag rule. You must play at least nine holes with a person before deciding to tell them about the MGA. It’s easy to get excited when you get paired up with someone whose game is just as bad as yours. Beware though, douche bags have an innate ability to seem almost cool for 8.5 holes. Wait until you’re teeing off on the 10th before deciding whether you want to see this person at all the MGA events.