Every chapter holds each of these events at some point during the assigned month. Listed below are the month, name, total purse amount and a brief description for each tournament. Some chapters will have 35 players, some will have 5, but all will have bad golf and good times.

March - Rebel Beach Am-Am
Purse: $6.20
The Am-Am is a two-man team event. The team with the lowest total score will win the two-headed trophies, featuring one head focusing on a putt, while the other chugs a beer. The "money" prizes will still be awarded based on individual scoring in the tournament, so the overall winner will receive the big check. The last thing any medio wants to do is ruin his friend’s entire season, and perhaps his chance at the World Championship, with his terrible play.
April - The Bastards
Purse: $7.00
Steeped in tradition, The Bastards is the most important tournament in the history of the MGA. The MGA was launched in 2006 with the first edition of this tournament and it has remained the most significant tournament ever since. As the first major of the year, pressure is high for those players hoping to complete the Mrand Slam by winning all four majors. The winner of The Bastards receives the coveted blue trucker cap and a spot in the history and lore of the MGA.
May - FORE! Championship
Purse: $9.50
Perhaps the most appropriately named MGA event, the FORE! Championship offers one last low-pressure event before entering the summer swing of majors. While itself not a major, the tournament features the largest purse of the year outside of the World Championship. So a win here goes a long ways towards a chapter money title!
June - F.U. Open
Purse: $7.50
The summer swing of majors starts with the Freedom and Unity Open, the most patriotic of all MGA events. Red white and blue come standard with this tournament and patriotic clothing is all but mandatory. Eagles, while all-but-extinct on a golf course full of mediocre players, will always feature heavily in this tournaments yearly trophy.
July - Bratish Open
Purse: $7.00
The home of golf is celebrated with this tongue-in-cheek event. Traditionally played on a links style course if one can be found in town and in budget. The winner of this event is presented with one of the finest golf trophies ever made... The Claret Juggs.
August - The MGA
Purse: $7.50
The final major of the year represents the last chance at redemption for most MGAers. By this point in the season, many are looking for a monetary boost into the top 10 on the money list and the last major of the year is a great opportunity to do that. The MGA trophy brings to life the iconic image of El Presidente throwing his hands up in frustration after missing yet another short putt!
September - Douche Bag Invitational
Purse: $7.50
The majors are over and you will have to wait until next year to become a major champion. But that’s no reason not to tell all the chicks in the bar that you’re a major champ anyway, while doing Jaeger shots and talking about how much money you made last year. Welcome to the Douche Bag Invitational! Everyone’s interpretation of a douche bag varies, so show us what you think one looks like by dressing up as him. Don’t worry about offending someone, because you probably will no matter what you wear. The winner of this event gets an embroidered visor, up-side-down naturally, because that’s how douche bags wear them. The logo depicts a knot of one dollar bills with a twenty wrapped around the outside.... douche.
October - The Last Gasp
Purse: $6.20
The final regular season event is your last chance to qualify for the MGA World Championships. Pull out all the stops and go for the win. It’s the last tournament of the year, can’t hold anything back now (because that's why you've been losing all this time right?).
November - The Mediocre Golf World Championship
Purse: $10.10
Golfers travel the world over to reach this prestigious tournament to determine once and for all who is the most kinda alright golfer for the year. The MGA books a block of rooms and a golf course in Vegas and then just sits back and watches as the chaos ensues. The Championship Belt is a traveling trophy that the new champion gets to keep for one glorious year. The only requirement of the new Champion is that he wears The Belt out on the strip for the small, classy celebration party that follows the tournament…