AVLMGA-Basking in the Bosom of glory
Weaverville NC- The best and worst performances from the AVLMGA’s Bratish Open unfolded Sunday at the illustrious Reems Creek Golf Couse. Steeped in mystery and hidden under a blanket in the back of Four Putts car, the infamous Claret JUGGS trophy waited impatiently for new champions to grip the Jiggly and bask in the bosom of its glory. Congratulations go out to this year’s 2012 AVLMGA Bratish open Champ, Gabriel Elash the winner and holder of the most Voluptuous trophy in all the Sports world.
Oblivious to the amount of douche bag golfers Asheville area seems to offer, AVL MGA hoisted the flag of mediocrity Sunday, leaving nothing to the imagination. Snakes, poison ivy, and really crazy-ass cloud formations set the backdrop as old rivalry’s kinda got set to play out. Elash has been defeated twice this season by newcomer Kenny “KDAWG” Wilson, losing his chance for the coveted Blue “Bastards” Trucker hat and the F.U. Open. Kinda hard work and sorta trying finally pay off for Elash beating Wilson fair and square (thanks to penalty Strokes).
Only Three tournaments left for the 2012 Asheville MGA season before the World Championships in Las Vegas. The remaining tournament dates are up so sign up early. Also if you want to qualify for The Mediocre Golf World Championships you will need to play in at least 3 tournaments, which basically means, since we only have 3 tournaments left you will need to sacrifice your entire life, friends, family, everything because you waited until August to join. But it is kinda worth it
If you’re a Good golfer, move along, there’s nothing to see here. If you’re like everyone else on the planet, you’ve found your people. Welcome, enjoy your stay and remember “Golf is fun,” especially if your mediocre.”