AVLMGA- Stoic Beast 2011 Champ has the time of his life!

These foreigners called themselves Californians, bringing with them Bags filled with trick photography and alien technologies. Having long since packed up their shit and moved back home, these foreigners are slowly making a reemergence to the lure of the Asheville Area, carrying new bags of tricks and romantic notions of actually winning an MGA tournament.  Asheville MGA is no exception, and the ideal chapter for a mediocre coming of age story, I mean basically if you can break 100 you’ll win. Refusing to reach into his California bag of tricks, and sporting 20 consecutive MGA tournament loses 0 wins, always a bridesmaid never a bride Gabriel “baby” Elash takes home his first MGA win and kinda big check. Congratulations go out to Gabriel Elash the 2011 AVL MGA champion! Elash,

now a STOIC BEAST in the mediocre golf world, destroyed the back 9 finishing 1 mover and 89 for

the day, to narrowly beat out 2^nd place finisher Doug “Dirty Mirdie” Good by 13 strokes.

SFMGA'er Gabriel Elash-2011 AVLMGA MGA Champ! 

Elash- "there are no bad shots in golf, you just have to know when to play it.."

By far, the most impressive course of the AVL MGA season, Cumming Cove Golf and Country Club played back drop to a couple of kinda alright golfers and The 2011 AVL MGA Championship. Having never played this hidden Gem of a course, medio’s were a little apprehensive from course reviews and word of mouth stories about cliffs and more water than fairway. Doug “Dirty Birdie” Good had read somewhere about the a Cummings Cove members Mashie niblick display and wanted to make sure we had an early tee time. “I don’t want to be anywhere near that course once the sun goes down.”

Doug "Dirty Mirdie" Good- 2011 AVLMGA Bastards winner recreating Rory's Masters meltdown

Bound only by their own stubbornness and inability to improve, the AVL MGA medio’s ascended onto the course to once again practice the ancient craft of Zen and the Art of Mediocrity. Ok., well maybe there wasn’t a lot of Zen going on from the Asheville Medio’s, and they did look like a bunch of drunk hyena’s chasing a donut down the street, but it was a kinda alright day. One saving grace, and possibly the only reason no one wanted to “off” themselves at the end of the day, was Elash’s suggestion that we change the “S” word. The term formally known as “slice” will now and forever be referred to as “THE POWER FADE”

Power fading his way into the mediocre hall of fame Henry “The Snowman” Pietens made a triumphic second AVL MGA appearance and was rewared with his second Mediocre award of the season finshing with a 103 for the day

Henry "The Snowman" Pietiens- "If the greens were in better shape I would have easily shot a 102"

Christopher "Doc Bimmer" Joyner- Meltdown Award winner and possible MGA 2011 Vegas World Champion sandbagger..

Jason "Four Putt" Willoughby- I shot a 68! ....plus 57 putts ...crap.......

Up next for the AVL MGA Somtime in SEPTEMBER -

Douche Bag Invitational - $7.5.... dollars -The majors are over and you will have to wait until next year to become a major champion. But that’s no reason not to tell all the chicks in the bar that you’re a major champ anyway, while doing Jaeger shots and talking about how much money you made this year. Welcome to the Douche Bag Invitational! Everyone’s interpretation of a douche bag varies, so show us what you think one looks like by dressing up as him. Don’t worry about offending someone, because you probably will no matter what you wear. The winner of this event gets an embroidered visor, up-side-down of course, because that’s how douche bags wear them. The logo depicts a knot of one dollar bills with a twenty wrapped around the outside.... douche