CHI STYLE F.U. OPEN

Homer Glen, IL --  This past weekend marked the season’s third outing for the MGA when the yahoo’s as the Homer Glen locals dubbed them took the Woodbine Golf Course to both display and damage both their golf repuations and internal organs.  The course was designed by the late, great Gordon Cunningham (of no relation to Richie) and plays in much the same manner as the women that follow this motley crew around……wide open and easy.     Jett Miller shot a 82 and  was the big winner of the $1.35 check and the AWESOME American Eagle Trophy. He may have been one of the drunkest on the course, but that didnt slow him down to his first major of his career.        Now on to the perfomances shall we???  Clint “T.J. Maxx” Hewitson and Royne “Ruettiger” Bjornson both shot amazing rounds of 77 which typically results in larges sums of cash, tons of women and years of success.  Having said that, they clearly weren’t informed that this here is the MGA; that a 77 is considered damn good but only pays out a pat on the back, a “stop complaining” and maybe a sandpaper reacharound if you play your scorecards right.  In all honesty, that’s some good hackin’ ladies, but lets dial it down a notch next time, you’re making the rest of us look bad………..   Clint is sideways bc that's how he rolls.   The rest of the day was extremely colorful as the boys from Chicago came out like proud peacocks, sporting nearly every color of the rainbow….most likely as a “warm up nod” to the Gay Pride Parade that was to follow in their fair city the following day….but nobody can really say for certain (at least not in print…..liable/slander….consider this “covering my bases”).  Dave “DC” Carlson wore semi see through white pants (American flag boxers) with a blue belt that immediately sent him into an elite class all of his own…….seriously, his “get up” was hot enough to burn the balls off a brass monkey.   The best dressed went to Matt “I have an awesome tattoo” Harvey who had the stars and bars from head to toe……….”Ain’t that America….something to see baby!”   Dressed to impress!   Not only is he dressed to impress, but he gets low to read those 3 foot putts!   Longest drive belonged to Anthony Germain with 317 yard BOMB, although older and reckless behing the wheel Tony does seem to serve a purpose. He also got a Medicore award!  I can’t believe we still know someone named Germ……   Looking like gentleman.   Closest to the pin belongs to JD “Hotrod” Morgan who destroys balls for a living!! (occasionally golf balls)   Winning       While my personal favorite didn’t fair as well as I had hoped, he’s still the most dashing on the links.  Brian Riley, I have no doubt you’ll take the next trophy and thought you kept a level head out there!!.....Moseltov!!!!   Guess who's hung over in this picture? Hint: He's not wearing red or white.     There is a guy i'd like to mention that wasn't on the course, but kind of creeping outside the fence. He was selling golf balls and thanked us for supporting his underground business. Of course I had to pick up a dozen slightly used golf balls for seven American dollars(box NOT included).   Thanks again for coming out, and i'll see you ladies on August 16th.   CHICAGO FU OPEN PICTURES