CHIMGA Douche bag invitational Chi City Stlye

Curtis Strange – “Hello, this is Curtis.”

Course Designer – “Uh, yeah Curtis, I had a quick question for you if you don’t mind.  Would you put a bunker on 18 on the right or the left of the green?”

Curtis Strange – “Uh, the right I guess, but who is this?”

-click-

Course Designer (to himself now) – “Curtis, you just signed up as a design consultant.”

Brian “The Factor” Riley shot out of his mind with a non mediocre 36 on the front, and a won the tournament with an 80 taking home the coveted Douchebag Visor along with the Meltdown Award!  On the other side of the realm was TR with a mere 67, on the front who finished with a pretty a 125(?) as one can have. The course was a little nicer than the mediocre track we’re used to so there was a lot of 100+ scores as we are more used to playing the divots in the green when putting and our drives going 10-20 yards farther because the roughs and fairways play like asphalt.

Dan “Spread the Red” Wagner won the mediocre award for a couple of reasons. Yes, he was in the middle of the pack with a respectable 106, but he did something I’ve never seen on a golf course. He did shanked a shot off the 6th tee box (per normal), but he also skipped 3 times. What followed is what something only seen on tv. After skipping 3 times the ball bashed a goose in the head. The goose is still in critical condition at the Lincoln Park animal shelter.

Being the president I figured it was my role to BRO ICE as many DBAGS as possible. Andy Riebie and Matt Harvey got a little surprise on par 3 with 2 piss warm ices sitting in the cup! They took them like the wonderful ladies they are. So that was fun, but I figured a better way was to get the cart gurl (Sober 6) in on the action. The signature 16th was the perfect location to get a solid icing. I gave the cart gurl 2 ices and instructed her to wait at the end of the bridge and ask for Riley and Torres. They try to way her off, but she stands her ground. Of course they are completely thrown off by why this cart gurl is still there. She then asks to talk to Riley and Torres. At this point they are a little freaked out. She then pulls out two hot ices out, and tells the boys to take a knee. Providing for one of the best icings of the year!

All in all it was  a great time was had by all and we’re ready to rock out another tournament in October assuming we’re not covered under snow.