Mga News

El Presidente Visits Bob Dope Classic; Interviews Global Money Leader Mike Desio

THE SURFACE OF THE SUN, CA – The alarms in Palm Springs sounded early Saturday morning, rousing dozens of medios from their alcohol-aided slumbers. The night before, the party had gradually gained momentum as medios filtered into Palm Springs from Orange County, The Inland Empire and San Francisco. They gathered in rental houses and hotels to pre-game for the Bob Dope Classic and to mentally prepare themselves for an epic showdown with heat stroke the next day.

The Bob Dope Classic is a southern California regional event that was started by the Orange County and Long Beach (RIP) chapters and back in 2013. Any So Cal chapter that can handle the heat is invited to attend and hold their Bratish Open in the lovely July warmth of Palm Springs. The thing about Palm Springs in July is; you can play really nice golf courses for cheap and the swimming pool at your rental house never felt so good.

This year’s event was El Presidente’s first visit to the Bob Dope. Travelling in Presidential style, EP was able to pick ANY middle seat he wanted on his one-hour Southwest flight to Orange County and was greeted at the airport by chauffer and recent first-time winner, Jimmy White. The pair set off for Palm Springs and had an engaging conversation during the 3-hour stop-and-go drive, all the while jealously watching the Presidents of the Golf Channel Am Tour and Web.com tour fly by in the express lane on the way to their ivory towers. Fucking 1%ers.

Upon arriving at the house where they would be staying, El Presidente was led to the Presidential suite and told he would be staying there… roommate-free. Through the tears of joy, EP was able to explore the grand accommodations and soon realized it was just a shade larger than his entire apartment back in SF. He dropped all his belongs in one small corner of the room and left a trail of breadcrumbs as he headed down to the pool.

The first night was a low-key affair, with medios lounging and playing the multitude of games that were available at the OC’s rental house. All were acutely aware of what was in store for them tomorrow and moderated their drinking accordingly. OK… maybe not all of them, but most… well, many anyways.

The first tee time at the Indian Well Players Course was at 6:20. OC Chapter Leader and tournament organizer Toby Olsen showed up 15 minutes before the event was scheduled to start. Some would say this is irresponsible and disrespectful, others, such as Olsen, would say “sweet, I’ve got time to hit a few putts!” This event also marked the first time Olsen had the entire field follow directions pre-pay using Paypal and it marked a major turning point in his Chapter Leader life.

The OC chapter had 18 medios in attendance while the brand new Inland Empire chapter brought six. This of course included Chapter Leader Josh “Far From A Star” Olson, who talked to El Presidente for a few minutes without introducing himself, making things a bit awkward when EP realized who the fuck he was AND that they would be playing together. The blame for not recognizing him falls primarily on EP’s broad muscular shoulders however, as Olson has done an amazing job this year posting stories and pictures on his CHAPTER PAGE and INSTAGRAM.

As the groups teed off, the temperature was in the mid-90’s and frankly wasn’t too bad. There was even a nice light breeze offering some additional comfort to the soon-to-be-inebriated medios. Over the next few hours, the light breeze would disappear and the mercury would begin to climb at an astounding rate.

Somewhere around 9:30, it was a windless, cloudless 108 degrees and medios were starting to think, “you know what, it’s fucking hot out here. I wish it would cool down a little.”

Mother nature, being a bit of a smart-ass, was like, “Oh no, did I make it too hot for yoouuu?! I’m SOOO sorry, let me cool it off a little.”

She then hit the course a big-ass sand storm with 25MPH winds that did in fact cool things down a noticeable amount. Bitch could have just sent clouds...

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Beggars can’t be choosers though and the medios gratefully accepted the reduction in temperature. One medio who didn’t seem to mind the temperatures or the wind, was eventual champion Mike Desio. Playing in the group with EP, Desio put on a stellar display of mediocre golf.

Playing from the white tees, the Players Course presented the field with a number of 320-330 yard par 4’s. Nearly all of them had water, sand or fire hazards guarding them from all sides. Desio never laid up. Not once. He nearly swung out of his shoes on numerous occasions. His putts almost never found the middle of the cup. He played with joy, optimism and reckless abandon.

He went 45-45 for a 90. Mediocrity perfected.

 

After the round, a big crew of overheated medios returned to the house Toby Olsen had rented and made a minor modification to the swimming pool before hopping in.

via GIPHY

For the next few hours, medios shared stories of how the course had wronged them, formed ambitious plans for an MGA snowboarding trip and listened in awe as Gavin Keeler shared some strategies of his for always coming out on top.

As the medios began to slowly drift out of town, a calm set over the pool. Conditions were suddenly perfect for the Sub-bar Cave Crawl, a risky and harrowing challenge created years ago by some bygone OC medios.

Once EP, Olsen and Keeler had successfully completed the challenge, it was obvious the magical event had come to its logical and fitting conclusion.

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Comments

The Snowboarding trip sounds intriguing! I haven't seen snow since I left NY 2 years ago (not a bad thing).

Epic cannonball pic!