Grand Rapids Golf Will Never Be the Same: Rebel Beach Am-Am Recap
Missed one foot putts, one foot drives, balls bouncing of trees and silos, tires rolling through the fairway, a member carding an 18 on one hole... oh, and beer. Lots of beer.
After months of anticipation and hassling from the Chapter Leader to stop being so lazy and sign up, the inaugural event of the Grand Rapids Mediocre Golf Association is in the books. If this is any indication of what is to come for the next seven events, it's going to be a good freaking year! Scott Lake Golf Club welcomed nine members this past Saturday on a beautiful April Fools Day in West Michigan. No pranks necessary- there was plenty of laughing at the fools trying to get from tee to green. We stepped up to the first tee a confident bunch, despite being greeted by the hardest hole on the course. Justin Glover, Chapter Leader, decided he would ease the tension by topping his drive into the ravine. A majority of the members followed suit donating balls to the underworld. Dan Romero, the pre-round betting favorite and world record holder for quanity of chewing tobacco shoved into his mouth per dip, hit a beautiful drive down the center of the fairway. His ball promptly gave him the finger and burrowed it's way underground never to be seen again. Dan road that momentum and multiple three putts to claim the first "Mediocre Award" of the year.
Hole # 3 was the long drive hole and the scene of the next noteworthy shenanigans. Adam "Get Your Throat Ready" Sims pummeled his ball 300+ yards to take the "kinda long" prize. His ball was so far up the fairway that the last group called him up and asked several times if he cheated. Justin "Skinny Jim Furyk" Glover thought he should still swing for the fences off the tee even if there was no way he could come close to Adam's ball. Then this happened-
You're safe this time Adam.
The third hole was the gift that kept giving as it was a large contributor in Jay "All Time Designated Driver" Glover locking up the Key To The Red Tee as he shot an outstanding 18 on hole #3! Great job on the x2 round (not +2) Jay! I thought Jim "I can afford nice beer now but I still buy Strohs" Glover would have easily had the lowest score. Jimmy was confident starting the round saying he was going to beat his youngest son and he backed up that bravado with a solid second to last!
The 5th hole was where the "kinda close" prize was to be awarded. And then the 11th.... and then the 17th.... and now next tournament. NINE GOLFERS! THREE DIFFERENT HOLES! THAT'S 27 SHOTS FELLAS! NOBODY HIT THE GREEN! You can't make this stuff up folks.
Meltdowns were few and far between on this day. As it seemed like everybody loosened up and played better after a half dozen beers. Brent "Danger is my Middle Name" Hill has always been of the mindset that "if I play better after a few beers, I'll be GREAT after 15!" After a solid front nine of 50, Brent carded a 61 on the back to claim the meltdown award! Brent picked up some more hardware as he and Jake "I make this look way too easy" Peterson took home the Am-Am trophies
Jake also won the "Gross Award" with an impressive 81! After adding his 7 strokes in he still easily won the big check! Jake played phenomenal golf on the back nine and for a stretch of about 9 holes was -2. He will be playing back a set of tees at the next tourney- although with how he was striping the ball I think the only way we can defeat this robot is to take away his cigs and cell phone.
It was a great time and an awesome kick off to the season. The next event is in three short weeks and I look forward to seeing everybody there!