Hey Canada, We've had Just Aboot Enough of You, eh.
My Fellow Americans,
For too long we have dismissed Canada as a peaceful, if slightly eccentric people.
For too long we have sat idly by as Canada used our country as a dumping ground for its unwanted trash.
For too long we have allowed Canada to make a mockery of our national sport.
And for too long we have allowed Canada to dream up ways to ruin our lives. The metric system! Celsius! Neil Young!
In a brazen act of imperialism, the sovereign nation of Canada has amassed 90% of its population along the border with the United States, the longest unprotected border in the world, stretching from the Atlantic Ocean to that other one.
Like maple syrup, Canada's evil oozes over the United States. How long will we remain silent to the screams?
Well, my fellow medios, there's a time to think, and a time to act. And this, gentlemen, is no time to think.
To Our Neighbors to the North,
The MGABoston has had just aboot enough of your silly laws and complicated health care system. We challenge you to a battle for pride and country, the first ever MGA Mryder Cup. The winner will assume total control of the loser’s country, so we can finally put an end to the Canadian war machine. The gauntlet has been thrown down. Will you accept?
The Greatest Country in the World