News » World Championships » The MGAWC Top 16; In Their Own Words

The MGAWC Top 16; In Their Own Words

By: LuckyKick | In: World Championships | November 17, 2011 - 2:33pm

 

There are a few bright spots in the following descriptions, but for the most part it sounds like these guys played like crap to become the top 16 golfers in the mediocre world. Check back every once and a while as the stories are still filtering in.

 

1. Dave Armstrong 84

 

I would say, I didn't expect too much of myself since on Friday I got my ass handed to me by Mr. Pothier and I barely made qualifications with a 99. (which i still did not receive a rose at the punk house!!!) (ed. A major oversight on our part, but don't worry, it was legit that he was in the field.) Also, I had a worse than mediocre season. 
 

 

Anyways, starting off with a par, birdie, birdie, the day was looking up! I all of a sudden had some hope. As the day kept going, my game stayed the same. That is when i looked at my partner, Mr. Griswold, and said, "I wish this day would hurry up and finish".  I did not want my nerves to get to me and just wanted this awesome day I was having to END!!!! 
 

 

Well, as we all know by now, my day did end in the most awesome way ever. Not only did I get to play in the coolest 4some ever, hang out with some of the coolest guys all weekend, be part of the best organization on the planet (MGA), and then to top it off, win the whole fucking thing to bring home the belt!!!! 

 
What a great weekend! 

 
Thanks,
Dave


2. Kevin Leahy 85

 

I started my day having to take a drop on the closest-to-the-pin par-3 6th with a wormburner into those volcanic rocks.Then I punctured my beer with the flozie prototype the guys from Salt Lake had - a brilliant invention that allows you to drink quicker while keeping your beer cold - and the rest is history. 

There is just no humble way to describe the way I drove the ball Saturday. I really just needed my driver, 60 degree and putter. On every tee box I had zero thoughts going through my head, just like static. 

Overcame I think 2 doubles and 1 triple, and ended with a 2 putt birdie on the par 5, which was a good way to finish because nobody could accuse me of sabotaging a DQ by 3 putting on the last hole. 

Almost fell through the water bubble/sinkhole on that fairway too. 

Was a blast and had a good time with Andy "Clark" from Chi Town and Jason and Chris from Asheville.

 

After I won the gross award, I thought it'd be really cool to take a shot out of it because the cup is about the size of a double. Jason from Asheville agreed with me and enthusiastically ordered us two shots of Patron. I poured my shot into the cup, cheersed him and tossed back the shot. But I didn't taste any tequila. Sure enough the trophy makers hadn't predicted this scenario and the tequila had spilled out of the base of the trophy and all onto the bar. I tried to get the bartender's attention to explain this situation and get a new shot but then just called it off.


2. Mike Plemons 85

 

 

I have never in my life shot in the low 80s back to back… literally shot the best weekend of golf ever and had to on Friday just to qualify.

I didn't lose a ball all weekend and only hit off the dirt once or twice.

I didn't have a sip of booze or performance decreasing substances at all on the course. Hummm, what does that mean?

This was the 2nd and 3rd round played with the "new swing".  Apparently it works so the question is why the fuck did it take me 20 years to figure this out???

Willie is my lucky charm. Seriously, I play great with that dude. Max on the other hand is my kryptonite.

I lipped out putts or came up an inch short on 3 out of the last 5 holes. Dammit. I blame you Max. Actually he had nothing to do with it but I'd rather blame him than me.

I was terrified of a playoff considering my shitty record in these and becoming an MGA legend in how to choke after 18 great holes.

-Plemons


 

4. Kellen Barry 86

 

My MGAWC round started out rocky.  Fortunately, with a few stiff
drinks I was able to turn things around and string together some nice
holes.  I didn't eclipse mediocrity until my Amen Corner (18, 1, 2)
which had kicked me in the nuts during Friday's practice round with
scores of 7, 12, and 4, respectively.  During the MGAWC, I decided to
play it safe and leave my driver in the bag and instead play a hybrid
off the tee like the true bitch I am.  As a result, I was fortunate
enough to finish mirdie, mirdie, meagle on the final three holes that
had put me in my place on Friday...but then again, it could have been
the alcohol.


5. Bob Giosso 87

 

Fighting an incredible hangover Friday morning I trudged my way over to the practice mat to shake off the cobb webs. I proceeded to snap hook my driver and skull my irons over and over and was quite possibly on my way to the worst round of golf in my life...In a panic, I looked around for the nearest Medio I could find to help "correct" my dire situation, luckily it was Stacy Ward. He goes, "Dude, you're picking your head up" quite possibly the best and most common piece of advice given on the golf course. Immediately, I was right as rain and smashing my driver down the middle and puring my irons. I went on to have my personal best round of golf (81) and win a great Match Play battle against Tyler Newman from Seattle that concluded with a Victory on 18. 

Fast forward to Saturday Morning, the Big Day. I repeated all of the same events of the night past trying to provoke similar mojo. Although I couldn't repeat the performance, I had a blast with a nice mix of Medios. Brian Riley, my cart partner from Chicago one the most mellow and easy going Medios on Tour. Dan Hammond from OC, and absolute soldier playing 36 holes on a pulled hamstring. Grimacing on every shot we medicated him with alcohol to ease the pain...no more softball before golf Dan! Steve Pothier, the consumate professional and brother from the North. He plays a solid game and is an MGA legend in my book. Thanks again to Jon and Willie who put together yet another memorable Tournament and cheers to everyone who participated. Congrats Dave Armstrong!!

- Bob G


6. Ryan Murrietta 88

 

Of course I started my round hung over as shit due to Mr. Jameson, but I’m sure that was the norm so no biggie. I had the driver working all day for the most part but it was 3 of the easier holes that did me in. At the par 5 5th I was hitting 3 with about 75 yards to go...grass grabbed the club and I pulled it hard left, double bogey. At the par 4 12th, upset that I was about to get a bogey after hitting a perfect drive leaving me 100 yards, I managed to lip out a 1.5 footer to give me a double bogey. So obviously I’m totally on tilt the next hole, the short par 4 13th, I hit the Jameson a couple times and I’m good to go…again after a nice tee shot I had about 70 yards to the green and completely muffed it right into the trap….after that it was full give up mode and ended up with a triple bogey on the hole. Mr. Jameson had to carry me home.

 

If I only could have made par on as many holes as my playing partner, Stacey Ward, vomited on I would have cruised to victory no problem. Poor guy wasn’t feeling too good. I had a blast with all the guys I played with and met at the hotel, it was a super good time and I look forward to doing it again next year. A huge thanks to all you guys who made the tournament happen, keep up the good work.
Ryan

 


7. Todd Benoit 89

toddroom2

 

I learned a valuable lesson this year.  Don't room with a shitty golfer that you don't think will qualify for the world championship because while you're trying to get a decent night of sleep to play golf the next day, he's gonna come in your room every hour between midnight and 5am shitfaced and throw things at you and tell you that if you don't wake up and go party that you're a pussy. After golfing last year on a hour of sleep and playing the round while going through extreme withdrawals I was determined to be better rested this year, but it wasn't in the cards.
My round started off great...I shot a 42 on the front.  I was thinking the champ was back and I might have a chance to bring the belt home.  As I started the back 9 I started to have fantasies about all the women that I would get if I won the belt again.  Then the fatigue set in.  4 straight tee shots that that barely got off the tee box and I was done.  One of the tee shots actually resulted in negative yardage after ricocheting off of the rocks in front of the tee box and coming to a rest about 20 yards behind me.  My chances were done.

 

If found, please take me to room 1206.... (actual room was 12006. The woman staying in 1206 politely informed him of this after 10 minutes spent banging on her door at 3 in the morning.)


8. Bill Morley 91

 


What a great event, my third visit to the World Championships but my first chance to play for the BELT!  (I served as chauffeur and general lackey for El Presidente during the first two)


My round was unusually steady with only 3 big 'Billdozer' gouges of the course, no meltdown holes and some very good work around the greens.     As with most events, my putting separated me from true greatness as I burned the edge of the cup on 7 putts, 5 of those from inside 5 feet!!

I think that probably my playing partners get credit for my calm state of mind.   Rob distracted me with his pants while James, from way down under, wowed me with some seriously long three woods and David from Phoenix forced me to be on the lookout for sharp objects and lethal drugs to keep away from him on a day when his game was not up to his normal standards .

Can't wait till next year when a 60 year old hands it to you young pups and walks off with the belt!    See you all then.

 

 


8. Willie Gregory 91

 

It was one of those days.  You know the days I'm talking about.  You know the kind of day when 71 Medios play golf in Vegas?  It's a totally common thing.  So I say, "You guys wanna see me suck for like 5 hours?" and they say, "yeah man, I do."  So I did.  90.  Perfectly Mediocre.  It's a gift really to be this average at everything you do.


10. John James 92

 

 

Here is my sad story. Grab a box of tissue, its gut wrenching.

My WC round started as most of my rounds this year have, solid driving, fair to good putting, and horrible iron play. The truth is, I was living on barrowed time all day. The problem was that I was flipping my clubface. That caused me to blade all my iron shots. As a matter of fact my ears are still ringing from the loud crackle of a club-faces missed. Further more, it’s likely as a result; there are about twenty houses on the course with substantial window damage. Especially on the 9th hole. I just drilled the house’s window right behind the green.

I managed to par six holes in a row; the most dramatic was a fifteen-yard chip-in for a par. But like taking a virgin to prom, it was all for nothing…The collapse was inevitable and sudden just like my crappy back swing.  Shooting an 85 with four to go I thought there might be one last run. But when you suck all that happens is you bogie and double bogie right down the road to shits-ville. Well there is always next year, and the good news is, I can fly waaayyy under the radar to try to climb back to respectability.

 

 


10. Zack McInelly 92

 

Well to keep it  short I played like shit.  I have a ton of excuses.  First I got paired with Benoit.  We tried like hell to get the matchup switched and the poor tournament coordinator thought we were serious.  I'm sure in his head he was thinking what a pain in the ass we are and how we have no idea what goes into coordinating such an event.  Bunch of ungrateful ass clowns.

There's a bunch of other excuses but mainly my driver just went out deep left field.  It's a depreciating housing market down there.  In reality I was adding value by putting pro v 1s in the pools and through some windows.  I'm like a kinda saint or something.

I learned that next year, bring more balls and don't get so high up the money list or you'll get paired with Benoit.

I had a great time though.  Steve, heavy Johnson" slighterbahn or whatever his last name is and Randy peach are great.  Todd Shots Benoit is pretty kinda alright too.  I miss them already, I wish we all lived together in a tiny house.  That's not true at all.  I'm glad I only see you guys once a year.

McInly

 


10. Tom Smith 92

 

Basically the free golf ball Kids and the help of one EL Presidente directing me to where my ball had landed off the tee, 
(IT WAS NOT MY BALL) in the bunker which got me a two stroke penalty. Morley you are a %$@# Liar , or maybe it was the twelve bunkers i landed into throughout the day that took me out of contention? it wasn't all bad at least i had the chance to see a real Star on the MGA TOUR. yes, i would be talking about one Jerry i dont know your last name sorry who taught me the true importance of taking your time and making sure you are damn well ready to swing your clubs if you want to play slightly below mediocre golf or maybe it was the opposite. oh well all said and done it was a nice time in Vegas playin golf with a bunch of people kinda like me

(ed. I am a liar and Jerry plays slow)


13. Vin Ferraro 93

 

My round was straight duck bread. Wasn’t showing off, wasn’t falling behind. Fought through some pretty heavy shakes to post 2 over through 6, holding steady with Canada’s finest, Dave Savard. Really, just a couple of bad holes that turned a good round into good enough to place. Highlight might have been the 8 I dropped on 8 (symmetry). Duffed the tee, shanked the second, cleverly punched the third into the lone tree, punched four into the rough, and flopped five over the green. Assuming the water hazard in front wrapped around the back, I dropped and put seven into the drink 15 feet in front of me. Channeling my inner Kevin Costner, I Tin Cupped the next three into the pond before Seattle’s Tyler Newman mercifully informed me my ball was in a bunker behind the green.

 

Most of the day was spent dodging the wheels flying off the Fuzz’s round in the group in front of us. Had Benoit, McInelly, or Scheuermann just taken his clubs away, I think we all would have quietly nodded in approval. Might have to sit the next one out, Champ.


All in all a most excellent time. Many thanks to Jon, Willie, Bill and all who worked so hard to pull off this success. And congrats to Dave Armstrong in beating back a worthy field of adversaries.


Wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t end with a shout out to U.S. Airways for not missing a single opportunity to assfuck us on the way out of town. Delay the flight for two hours? Check. Make us wait in line for two hours to tell us the flight is canceled and there are no other open flights? Check. Book us into the shittiest motel in Vegas? Check (I assume a portion of their $39.95 a night went to pay the drunken motel cop. What’s a worse sign: that he’s drunk or that enough things go down to require a full time security force? And FYI, you can rent by the hour, as the classy couple checking in next to us at 3pm on Sunday was so happy to hear). And finally, tell the Fuzz you got him a flight out on Monday but secretly book him for Tuesday? Double check.

 


13. Sean Supple 93

 

Regarding my round, I actually hit the ball really well.  Tee shots and fairway shots were great for me.  Chunked a few, but that is the norm for someone that basically only plays in the tournaments.  The real story of the day was the horrific putting.  I 3-putted probably 8 holes and 2 putted the rest.  My 3 year old had a better chance of making a putt!  I had a legitimate chance to make 4 or 5 birdies and missed them all.  The worst part is, I made bogey on 3 of those holes!


13. Nate Grimstvedt 93

 

Those are my shoes…figures.  If you have them I would like to pick em up as I am going to Hawaii Thursday.  Let me know.  Awesome time!


16. Brian Riley 94

 

*No comment* Again, what a follow through!


16. Steve Scheuermann 94

 

First off, I had a great time at the MGA Championship this year and hope to continue doing this forever! Everyone I met in the MGA was awesome and the dudes I golfed with will hopefully be lifelong friends. With all this positive shit out of the way, let’s talk about my rounds of golf at this year’s championship.

 

My bullshit play during the practice round was expected because I had never played at the Legacy before. It looked like I never hit a golf ball before. I couldn’t put two good shots together to save my life. I shot a 92. I brushed it off and figured I would do way better the next day. Not the case. I somehow forgot how to use my 56 degree all day, and I still can’t remember how to use that fuckin thing.

 

My proudest moment was on the 8th hole. I shanked my drive to the left about 60 yards. I followed up with two pretty good shots to get me about 10 feet from the green. Then I pulled out the ol’ 56 degree. The pin was in the front and literally 20 feet from me. I skulled the shit out of the ball and sent it way passed the flag. That’s 4. It continued to roll off the other side of the green and down into the water. By the way, there is no fucking reason to have water there. Luckily, Zack McInelly chased down my ball and stopped it before it went in, so I wouldn’t lose the ball. (He’s a great guy) I then took a penalty stroke and proceeded to chip it back passed the flag and off the other side of the green. That’s 6. I then putted (from the fringe) 3 times to finally end the hole with a 9. That was the combined score for McInelly and Benoit for that hole. This continued throughout the round. It was agonizing, but at least I had Randy Peach golfing equally mediocre, to share the pain with me.

 

Benoit, McInelly, and Peach turned out to be some of the coolest dudes and I’m happy they got to witness how mediocre at golf I really am. I had an amazing time, (even though I suck at golf) and can’t wait for next year!!! I’m comin for that belt! Jon Morley and Willie Dills, thank you for everything you do. Keep it up guys!


16. Rob Kristie 94

 

 

The four swings I took on the range were all shanks, so I decided I was going to drink heavily, however the bartender was having problems with someones credit card and after waiting 20 minutes with people yelling we had to go outside RIGHT NOW I realized my dream of a hangover killing beer was dead.  Thankfully Kevin from Seattle gave me a beer and it got rid of the shakes.  One of our guys didn't show up or something and we started out as a threesome, I shanked a ball into the water on the first hole and though I was going to have a real long day, then halfway through our second hole Kevin from San Diego arrived told us he slept using a plate full of nacho cheese as a pillow which made me instantly feel better about myself.

The only shots I could hit were my driver and a hooded 5 iron that went about 150-170 yards with a 20 yard hook, but once I figured that out things fell into place.  It helped I was playing with 2 Kevins and  a Kiki, one of the Kevins and Kiki each decided to mark their balls with a K, so each time one of their shots was found there was a debate about if it was  Kevin K or a Kiki K on the ball.  By the time this was straightened out I had forgotten completely where I had hit my ball and was usually shocked to find out I was in the fairway or on the green, but it kept building my confidence.  I could not putt worth a shit and left a lot of putts way too short, and with the amount of 3 putts I had it was shocking I scored as mediocre as I did.  When I started hearing scores in the clubhouse I started thinking "holy shit, I might make the money", and even though it was only 1 cent, it made my weekend.

 


16. Rob Skinner 94

 

*No comment* But look at that... beard.

 

« Back to News