MELBOU...errr..BRISBANE, AUS - Often confused (by me) with Melbourne (not even close), Brisbane is the captial and most populous city in the Australian state of Queensland (they have states?). More importantly, this spring Brisbane became the site of the MGA's fifth Australian chapter when World famous James "Troublemaker" Straker applied for a chapter.

To help soften the blow of the extra $1000 in shipping required to get anything to Australia, Straker found a top quality chapter sponsor in local brewmasters, The Scratch Bar. In taking the unprecedented step of blindly sending money to California, The Scratch Bar became the first official chapter sponsor in MGA history. We felt this was worthy of an interview, so we conducted one back in March with our Scratch Bar contact, Ben Nichols.

 

 


MGA: What in the world made you decide to sponsor the BrisbaneMGA chapter of the MGA?

Ben: We here at the Scratch are passionate mini golf connoisseurs. A bar slash mini golf course would be our ultimate dream. That said, we have to be men now that we have a bar, and with that we have to GROW as men from mediocre mini golf players...to mediocre golf players. This is really just a rite of passage for us. 

MGA: I'll tell you right now, if there is any type of business that should sponsor MGA events, it's a bar. MGA members regularly take advantage of the cart girls.... beer supply. Are you planning on hosting some post-tournament parties at your bar this year? 

Ben: There will definitely be some pre and/or post festivities at the bar. We call it training. 

INTERESTING BRISBANE FACT : *Brisbane - In 1824, a southern state governor sent a party of difficult Convicts to found a new settlement in Queensland. These days, southern state children send their difficult parents to Queensland to retire. Also a Mecca for Southern State teenagers who upon finishing school, head north for a week of booze and debauchery.

MGA: If a card carry MGA member makes the trip from Canada or America and shows up at your bar, how many free drinks can he expect? 

Ben: If anyone brings an overseas MGA card membership and smacks it on the table, I have a balloon welcome in a net above the bar set to drop in celebration. If I ever get to use that, I'll give the person a drink of everything on tap. 

MGA: How would you describe your bar to someone who doesn't have internet access or is too lazy to look at the website? 

Ben: Our bar is for the other guys. It's all about quality drinkin' and according to the ratio of bearded vs non bearded staff member, apparently it's also about having a quality beard. 

INTERESTING AUSTRALIA FACT : *Seppo - Australians may refer to Americans as 'Seppos'. This is an abbreviation for 'Septic Tank' which is rhyming slang for 'Yank'.

MGA: Why isn't your web address www.scratchbar.com.au or something weird like that? 

Ben: Because tying an extra .au and the end of a web address takes time out of your day and time out of mine. There's a lot to be said for efficiency. That, and it was cheaper. 

MGA: Will you be competing in the BrisbaneMGA? If so, should people put you on their MGA Fantasy Team and why? 

Ben: We will be competing the shit out of the BrisbaneMGA. I should be at the top of everyone's fantasy team based on my willingness to sell any part of my body to local advertising. I may not have the skills to even rank at the esteemed level of 'mediocre' but at least I'll make $13 in credit at the pizza joint up the road by plastering my body with their name in permanent marker during each and every game. These are televised events, right? 

INTERESTING AUSTRALIA FACT: *Homicide - Australia was founded by Convicts. Its homicide rate is 1.8 per 100,000 population. The United States was founded by religious zealots. It's homicide rate is 6.3 per 100,000. Almost 400% greater than Australia.

MGA: Lastly, have you guys heard of bros icing bros? It's very stupid, but also very popular in the MGA despite the rest of the country having moved on from it over a year ago.

Ben: We have an issue with icing, mostly because none of us wear baseball caps backwards, listen to Dave Matthews bands or drive SUVS. Mostly, we just have too much facial hair or no hair, guts that have been well looked after and don't shower very often. We have something in the same vein, involving a drink called the 'Rex Attitude'. It's a 100% Peated Malt high percentage beer from New Zealand that some have described as 'a dying campfire in a bottle'. Let's call it a 'noble challenge

The Scratch Bar Facebook Page

 

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Comments (1)

Former Prime Minister (mediocre President equivellent) Bob Hawke had a Guinness world record in 1955 for sculling the fastest yard glass of beer.

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