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STL MGA The F.U. Open: Drew Smith Goes Back To Back

Oh man. Oh man, oh man. Not again. Drew Smith goes back to back for you bitches that didn't get the message. Back to back like he's on the cover of Lethal Weapon. Back to back like he's Jordan 96-97. Alright, that's enough Drake lyrics, for now.

When the golfers took to the first tee it was understood that Smith was the best dressed.  What wasn't so certain was who would be the best mediorcre golfer.  With Ryan Jenkins, Jason Woolem, and Roman Cannon all scheduled to make their debut, the field was ripe with potential champions.  Unfortunately for Cannon, Aunt Flo visited early this month, and he was a no show.  Ryan Jenkins put up a stellar front nine score with 49 strokes.  Woolem, on the other hand, sucked.  Woolem is a shitty golfer.  Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy, he's just a shitty golfer.  Not Kyle Pfeffer shitty, there is just room for improvement, a lot of room.  

At the turn, the top five consisted of Ryan Jenkins, Crockett, Smith, Phil Watson, and Alex Jenkins. Four strokes was all that seperated 1st from 5th.  The back nine was full of suprises, with a hornets nest coming into play on the 13th hole.  Younger brother Alex was forced to take a one stoke penalty to avoid the irritated hornets.  Older brother Ryan gave the compassionate suggestion to, "Quit being a pussy."  Nevertheless Alex thought better of it and his game never really recovered.  Ryan's game would soon fall apart three holes later, finding the water not once, but twice on 16.

It all came down to the 18th hole, Smith had finshed with a 98.  All Ryan Jenkins needed to win his MGA debut was a 6, a 7 would force a play off.  Jenkins crumbled under pressure and finished with a 9, his highest score on the day.  When news reached the clubhouse that Smith clinched his second MGA Tour event, he abrubtly stopped kissing his sister, spit out his Skoal, and sprinted towards his Freedom trophy.  He then led a drunken rendition of America The Beautiful, only stopping to huff dust remover.  God bless the U.S.A.

Event Results

1.Drew Smith98$0.93
2.Ryan Jenkins100$0.57
2.Derek Crockett100$0.57
4.Phillip Watson101$0.46
5.Robert Bell102$0.41
6.Alexander Jenkins104$0.36
7.Christopher Watson114$0.31
8.Jason Woolem121$0.26
9.Jonathan Hearty123$0.21
10.Adam Kaufman124$0.15
11.Kyle Pfeffer136$0.10
12.Roman CannonDNF$0.00

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Panel Of Experts (3)


What a fantastic read! Keep up the good work Rob!

These are always good and I look forward to reading them after each tournament. They get better each time too, but I may be biased since the last two have been about me.

My take away from this is what a shitty golfer Jason Woolem is. At least he showed up though....