TLH-MGA Bastards 2017 - POWER RANKINGS
The Bastards Power Rankings
To those of you who are new, and a reminder to those who are old (looking at you Turk), The Bastards is the most important of all the MGA tournaments and should be treated with reverence and respect.
Those who are skilled enough to capture the coveted blue trucker hat are invited to the most exclusive of gatherings; the Breakfast of Winners. The event is hosted annually by the defending champion prior to tee-off, where past winners enjoy sharing stories of what it truly feels like to have dominated TLH-MGA medios in our most difficult of competitions. For example, I will reminisce about pulling the blue trucker hat from Millar’s grasp like I was dragging him off of a United flight. Oh how we’ll laugh.
A designated viewing area of this year’s breakfast will be available to all medios prior to tee-off starting at 11:30am on the patio of the Capital City CC near the practice green.
As defending champion, there may be no better judge of who can be our next winner, so let’s get to it.
2014 – Mr. Robert Birken – Overshadowed by the epic duel between Pete and Steve at the Am-Am, Bob started the 2017 MGA season with a strong performance, good enough for a T3. Always known for his consistency and accuracy and height, a trip to Capital City CC’s short design may be an opportunity for our first two-time Bastards champion.
2015 – Mr. Peter Ford – Pete also started this year off with a bang. Three months later he started the TLH-MGA season with an all-time chapter low score of 80, good for second place and 2 additional penalty strokes to take into the Bastards along with the 4 he started the season with. Pete can definitely win this tournament; another 80, net 86, would be good enough to win The Bastards in any past year.
2016 – Mr. Steven Hiraga – Some may call this the least deserving champion, winning not only with a 92, but with a playoff as well. For those of you who weren’t there I beat Matt Millar, last year’s money title winner, in a putt-off that (so far) is the most exciting moment in the history of the TLH-MGA, if not our entire lives.
4. Matthew Millar – Redemption. The only thing missing from last year’s magical season was the Blue Trucker Hat. A win here would give Millar his second major victory and get him back on track for a second money title.
5. Nicholas Mazzarra – A recent major winner, Nicky Mazz is a contender for any tournament with a handicap reasonable enough to keep him dangerous.
6. Joel Webb – I’m all in on the J-Webb (#20) train this year. It’s only a matter of time before he takes advantage of the single penalty stroke and takes down a tournament, which would be both his second major and first win since June of 2015; not counting the win in the Sam’s Town pit.
7. David Duval – Sure, David says he wants to shoot a 90 every tournament so his penalty strokes are gone for the World Championship. However, I would also bet that he would shoot an 87 if it gave him his third major in the race for the first to capture a career grand slam.
8. Phillip Willette – You would be hard pressed to find another medio who embraces the MGA culture off the course as well as on. With a near constant stream of heaters and Miller Lights, I’m predicting Phil comes out of nowhere to do what idol Charlie Hoffman couldn’t do at The Masters; finish in the top 25.
T9. Ian Kawas – Another member of the “I just want to shoot 90” club, our CL would gladly hold on to a penalty stroke or two if it meant he could put on the Blue Trucker.
T9. Joseph Piotrowski – I contend that we should relieve Joe of one penalty stroke for every bottle of Rose’ he finishes.
11. James “The Turk” Turknett – Rooting for a Turk championship in the hopes he levers the title to some quality time with a match.com 10.
12. Keithrick Gubat – There is the faintest whisper of a rumor floating around Tallahassee that KG’s game is progressing to a level beyond, “fuck this, I’m going to the 19th”.
13. Daniel Piotrowski – The TLH-MGA breathed a collective sigh of relief when we saw Dan was registered for the Bastards. Although he is in no way a threat to actually win, Dan makes this league better and you should count yourself lucky if you happen to be paired up with him. Just understand you will also not be winning, but you will be drunk. Still a W.
14. Ross Fitchner – A membership that has a chance to go down as part of TLH-MGA lore, Ross joined literally 15 minutes after hearing about the league and damn near almost won the Am-Am. Good luck repeating that with the pressure of the Bastards. [Bump]
15. Dustin Heintz – Solid 106 at the Am-Am. You are one of us.
16. Gevin(?) McDaniel – I’ve never seen somebody misspell their own name.
17. Leaton Hall – Still no evidence this isn’t a dorm.
18. Nick Lee – Beer on me for the first picture of Nick riding his motorcycle with his golf bag on his back.