Chapter News

Biggz doubles up on F.U. Open titles

[by:  Joe Faga]

After a week of dire warnings regarding Biblical flooding rains and Saharan Dust storms that might derail the Columbus F.U. Open, our Supreme Dick-tater was up at 4:00am to email us that our mediocre outing was a go.
The course was definitely wet from prior rains, enough that shots were splashing in the fairway and raising fears of water hazards arising where none had previously existed.
We did have the briefest of sprinkles, so Dave Knowles produced the most adorable wee bumbleshoot for his clubs.

It was a pleasure to golf with Dave, a veteran member of our Columbus chapter and a wealth of golf knowledge and encouragement that he shared with our foursome.

"What's the fuckin' point of playing smart if you swing stupid?" said Dave.

As a truly terrible golfer, I was  hungry for this and any advice and coaching I could get. Some other actual tips I received on Sunday:

              1. If you hit it good it goes further

              2. If you putt too hard it goes too far

              3. Waterproof golf shoes are not waterproof above your sock line


I also learned a lot from watching my cart-mate, Eric, who taught me by example how to line up approach shots:

( The intentional worm-burner )

( The 85* wedge )

I took everything I learned for these teaching pros and applied it to the 11th hole.  I planned to hit it high and long over the lake and land softly to the right of the pin. 

My tee shot went directly into the trees lining the cart path next to the tee.

The rest of the hole went like this, except for the extra putts. You would not believe how long it took to drive around the lake to take my second shot over the water.  My advice: don't do it this way.

Our guest and former member, Brad Wallace, also had brilliant plan later on, when he said, "I'm pretty sure I can chip onto the green and 4-putt from here."  "You're just full of strategery," said Dave.

Following the round Mr. Gilligan tabulated the scores as best he could. "I don't know which is worse, your arithmetic or your penmanship." Anyway Jeff announced the top 8 probable winners, subject to a later audit. Though, he seemed pretty sure the winner was Matt Bigelow (again), with second place going to the golf wizard, Dave Knowles.

By the way, did anyone leave a club on 16?

Event Results

1.Matt Bigelow80$1.35
2.David Knowles81$0.90
3.Timothy Collins87$0.71
3.Robert McArthur87$0.71
5.Steve Sillato89$0.49
5.Jason Smelser89$0.49
5.Anthony Cable89$0.49
5.Brad Schimmoeller89$0.49
9.Arun RajanBabu91$0.30
10.Steven Baybutt94$0.19
10.Joe Milacek94$0.19
12.Jason Strickland98$0.08
13.Mathew Mayo102$0.06
13.Steven Merrill102$0.06
15.Brett Ewing103$0.03
15.Chad King103$0.03
17.Justin Scribner104$0.00
18.Fredrick Miller105$0.00
18.Eric Heberle105$0.00
20.Doug Short108$0.00
21.Jay Patel111$0.00
21.Steve Friday111$0.00
23.Justin Kudela115$0.00
24.Patrick Affourtit116$0.00
24.Jeff Gilligan116$0.00
26.Joe Faga117$0.00
27.Dustin Schmidt123$0.00
28.Tim Koruna130$0.00
29.Justin Duffie132$0.00
31.Ben ReebDQ$0.00
31.Connor MazzaDQ$0.00