Chapter News

A Bunch of Shit Happened, and then the DC Chapter Retired its First Seven Iron

Never mind that I've had writer's block, the DC MGA still plays lots of golf.  It's pretty mediocre.  Don't look so surprised.  And, we had to retire a seven iron.  I'll tell you all about it.

Before you get up in arms, this is golf.  We don't have jerseys to retire.  But we do have golf clubs.  Some of them are drivers.  Some are putters.  Some of them are hybrids or fairway woods.  But some of them, roughly one out of 14 or so, are seven irons.  And we had to retire one.  You see, at the DC MGA Last Gasp 2019, Catherine used said seven iron on the third hole at Falls Road Golf Course in Potomac Maryland, and put the ball in the hole from the tee box on her first try.  That was amazing.  It was, for those of you playing our home game, a hole in one.  Also, an eagle.  Or, if you prefer, it was a mouble meagle.  Even better, it was a mediocre zero.  Kinda like god just miracled the ball into the hole after she put it on the tee.  Jay and Karen were so excited that they each nearly shit themselves.  That would have been embarrassing.  Seriously, Jay even fell down onto all fours to worship Catherine for the accomplishment.  So, now, that seven iron must forever remain in the DC MGA Hall of Fame.  The DC MGA Hall of Fame is a modest space in a storage closet under the stairwell of the 3-level townhome that Catherine inhabits.  It only has one display right now.  It's a seven iron, for those of you who weren't paying attention.  We're not retiring the club because we're so amazed at the shot, or because we love Catherine so much.  No!  We're doing it so that crap doesn't happen again.  We're also going to threaten to break her replacement seven iron.  We're nice people.  Unless you ace a hole.  Then, we become ace-holes.  See what I did there?  Yeah.

Speaking of punitive, we had to punish Jay a bit.  See, he won the F.U., so he played the Bratish from the tips.  Then, he won the Bratish.  So he played the Last Gasp from the "tippy tips", where we send him to the back of the back tees because there's nowhere else to go.  And he won again.  So, I have a special plan for his first event in 2020.  Just wait.  I think the whole chapter will endorse it.  There will be photos.  And probably video.  You'll see.

In other news, the DC chapter had a great year.  We recruited new players who don't suck at being people.  We played golf.  It was mediocre.  That's what it's all about (unless you're doing the hokey pokey).