Chapter News

Douchebag wears shirt to match trophy, wins it

ESTERO, FL -- On September 19, 22 Medios tested their skills against the toughest course in Southwest Florida. By and large, we failed that test. Old Corkscrew is an evil Nicklaus Signature course, where tempers run high, lost balls are inevitable, and golfers walk away from a hole happy if they can finish it with only three putts. One player weathered that shitstorm and walked away with a giant check, a tiny gross award trophy, and a super stylish visor for his troubles.

The scores we turned in for the day harkened back to the OG days of the Fort Myers chapter, where triple digits were the norm. The winning score was a 91, and shooting a 110 (not a typo) earned you a top-10 finish. FORE champ and current money leader John Kelso had a tough day from the blues, and the rest of us had a tough day from the whites.

But the star of the show was tour rookie John Fitzpatrick. He was so confident in his performance he decided to wear a shirt that matched the trophy. What a DOUCHEBAG! John shot a 91 (net, gross: 88) and it was a very comfortable victory. Fellow rookies Bernard Floody and Matt Plonys took second and third places respectively. Dohrn shot a 99 to take 4th place, and Moose Holland managed a top 5 finish in spite of drinking his weight in White Claw to celebrate his birthday.

With one tournament remaining in this Fuckin COVID season, looks like the money list will be a Kelso/Gunn battle down to the wire. Next tournament is in a few short weeks, after which your chapter leader can take a little break.

Event Results

1.John Fitzpatrick91$1.35
2.Bernard Floody94$0.90
3.Matt Plonys98$0.75
4.Chris Dohrn99$0.68
5.Chris Holland102$0.60
6.Paul McLellan104$0.53
7.Timothy Gunn106$0.41
7.John Kelso106$0.41
9.Kevin olivo109$0.30
10.Cody Brown110$0.15
10.erik knudsen110$0.15
10.Sean Hart110$0.15
13.Stephen Seagly111$0.07
14.Jason Weeks112$0.05
15.Andrew Starnes117$0.04
16.Stephan Starnes119$0.02
17.doug burbridge122$0.00
18.Chris Cochran136$0.00
19.Michael Hobbs142$0.00
21.Jarid Laukaitis DNF$0.00
21.Joseph LaukaitisDNF$0.00