Chapter News

Fort Myers kicks off 2019 season, and a streak is broken

Fort Myers kicked off 2019 in April at the Fort Myers Country Club, drawing a record field of twenty-three (23) terrible golfers. Most years when we have a lot of new faces most of them are sandbaggers who kick everyone's asses their first tournament. This year was different. We had over a dozen new members, and they're all just as shitty at golf as the rest of us.

Two seasoned veterans -- Chris Dohrn and Vinny Abbatiello -- took home the two-headed monster with a combined score of 188. Vinny carried the load and was the only one of us to break 90 (an 89), and he took home a giant check and the gross award for his troubles. Chris "Moose" Holland took home the long drive, and Cody Brown got closest to the pin. Green Beer Open champ Paul McLellan fell off pretty hard, finishing tied for 12th and taking the Mediocre award.

In perhaps the biggest news of the year, Curtis Horton saw his impressive last place streak come to a tragic end on Saturday. Last year Curtis RAN THE FUCKING TABLE, taking home all eight red keys. Well, that won't be happening in 2019, as John Stischok showed Horton how it's done, firing off 167 strokes and comfortably cruising into last place.

In all, this was by far the largest tournament our chapter has ever hosted. By the time the last group came in there was a full gallery of booze-filled Medios at the green cheering them to the finish, and we took over an entire section of the clubhouse. Welcome to 2019, Medios, have an OK year.

Event Results

1.Vincent Abbatiello89$1.12
2.Chris Hunt92$0.68
2.Timothy Gunn92$0.68
4.Chris Holland93$0.56
5.Victor Benintende95$0.50
6.Gary Cousineau97$0.43
7.Andrew Starnes98$0.37
8.Chris Dohrn99$0.31
9.Mike Nowak100$0.22
9.Stephen Seagly100$0.22
11.Paul McLellan101$0.12
12.Sean Hart105$0.05
12.Kevin olivo105$0.05
12.Chris Dutch105$0.05
15.Joseph Laukaitis109$0.03
16.Yuri Rojas110$0.02
17.Cody Brown114$0.00
18.Stephan Starnes115$0.00
19.Jon Sheene118$0.00
20.Chris Cochran127$0.00
21.Frank Rivera130$0.00
22.Curtis Horton153$0.00
23.John Stischok167$0.00
24.John SepterDNF$0.00

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Looking at the pictures i'm not sure if this is a group of golfers or the Chippendales are in town. Well the 1972 version of the Chippendales. Congratulations guys, we are the biggest chapter in Florida now.