Chapter News

Fred holds his water and wins his first Douche

The 2018 Knoxville MGA Douchebag Invitational kicked off at Dandridge Golf Course, where the golf gods decided to throw a little rain on the course before we got started, making it really hot and humid throughout the day!!

First hole ……… wait, wait……Eric Myers shows up out of no where for his first tournament of the year!!!! Guess he isn’t going for the free T-Shirt this season! Anyway, first hole had Troy in the back of someones house, told you to drink that Fireball first….its a great warmup!! Robert pipes one down the middle of the fairway and when we go to look for it….it is totally gone! So on this first hole par 5 he then hits four more shots until his last one finally hits the water that sits in front of the green…..great start to the day! That same hole Bowers hits 2 trees and water! Mark and Van start the day of with 8’s on the same hole… I said great start to the day! Winner from last tournament Brandon Wise was shooting from the back tees and wasn’t doing too bad, where on the back nine he shot a 44, must be because he was stealing beers from the last group!! Troy and Eric (yes that same Eric that just came out for the first time this year) were going head to head on each hole until Eric pulled away from Troy on the last three holes of the front and the whole back nine…..(what an ass first time swinging a club and earns a gross award) Patrick Phillips was shooting lights out……..well for the red key at least! He shot a solid 62 on the front nine…..well to look on the bright side….it could only get better from there!! Austin Putt had 2 pars on the scorecard today, and didn’t follow up going back to back Douchebagging! Hole 9 (Longest Putt hole) had Sean just on the green for a very long putt, as he was waiting for Adam to chip up (which he should have watched him chip) Sean gets hit right in the ass by Adams ball, which landed on the green! Sean then putted and drills his putt for the Longest Putt 78 footer for meagle!! Hole 10 had to be the highlight of the day, where Adam and Robert both hit their balls into a homeowners yard, where the homeowner comes out of her home and takes the balls and throws them out into the fairway……how do you score that? If you are ever thinking you have an excuse of not showing up… to John Henley, this guy celebrates his birthday and splits his head open and receives 13 stitches and still comes out and shoots a 96 on the day!

The biggest Douche of all …….. is our New Winner Fred Tipton, where even though he won, he was all over the course about how the course can close the the bathrooms for the winter, when it is only September…… find a tree…………DOUCHE!!!!


Event Results

1.Fred Tipton85$1.18
2.Eric Myers86$0.79
3.Jason Bowers88$0.66
4.Brandon Wise91$0.56
4.Sean Fay91$0.56
6.Robert Jenkins92$0.43
6.Austin Putt92$0.43
8.Van Heflin93$0.30
8.Troy Price93$0.30
10.John Henley96$0.20
11.Mark Kotrys97$0.13
12.Patrick Stambaugh101$0.07
13.Adam Martinez 102$0.06
14.Patrick Phillips109$0.05