Chapter News

It Was Fucking Hot!

27 medios showed up for FU Open and survived the heat. The story, and all the glory, is masterfully told by the only medio who can put pen to paper so elegantly. Damon and gentlemen, I give you the recap of the FU as told by wordsmith AB!! ENJOY!!

God bless the MGA, and God bless America. Decked out in red white and blue your boys had a stacked deck at Latah Creek for the FU open. Ballsacks were stuck to the insides of thighs for a hot hot day out on a long ass course. The greens were punched, sandy, and rolling like a plinko board adding insult to injury on any attempted putt.

Playing from red tees was holding out for Lance for a long time, and the blues were adding the edge on Scotty to move from wedges to irons in an intense round. Long drive #4 went to Wyatt yet again dropping straight bombs.

When it was all said and done a putt-off ensued between Dirty Damon and Zillionaire Zach (shoutout to dictionary.com) after tying for the round. Saved by the Bell, Zach put Screech in his place and would end up the victor. To him go the spoils of a phallic-rock trophy and his first Major win.

Chapter founder Andy Gardner had a mediocre big double with 2 all beef patties: key to the red tees and biggest meltdown. A special Sunday, we closed our hymnals and said a prayer for AG.

As mentioned by Scott, all medios held excellent pace, tipped well, and showed phenomenal course etiquette so shoutout to everyone for playing this course and making sure we get invited back with a good reputation.

As winner of the FU, Zach claims naming rights to Matt Ittner’s new baby due this week. The name will be announced at our next tourney in Deer Park, congrats to the Ittner family on the new addition. Red white and blue, don’t forget Andy loves you ❤️

-AB