Chapter News

Rod Loses bid for 3 straight Bastards Titles by James Hickman

Edelweiss was the perfect setting for a tradition like many others™, the 2018 Bastards tournament. As visions of historic Masters finishes and Jim Nantz voiceovers played in my head, I alternated between blading chips over the practice green into the woods and discussing software development methodologies with my coworkers, I mean fellow MGAers. The first hole was uneventful as we conquered our first tee nerves - Sean, Chad, Neil and I found the fairway and got the day started with a couple of pars.

At this juncture, I elected to tactically throw away some strokes to ease the front nine pressure, and logged a quintuple bogey on #2. This included launching a home run from a greenside bunker and dragging my remarkably poor short game around the green a bit further, then 3 putting. Next, Sean plopped a 212y heely cut into the center of the fairway on 3 and challenged his playing partners and subsequent groups to hit the fairway and best him for the long drive title (surprise, no one else in our group was remotely near the fairway). Due largely to delinquency in authoring this round recap, the day becomes a bit of a blur for me at this point as I settled in to a working man's round of Mirdies and double bogeys, trying to keep pace with my high performing playing partners on an absolute bear of a driving course made longer still by overnight rain.

As we approached the green at the difficult ninth and the sun metaphorically began to peak through the clouds, we observed that Shannon had given the field new hope with a stumble after his red-hot near even par start, probably because he didn't fuel up with a Edelweiss Chalet pulled pork sandwich for breakfast. After the 15th, it became clear that three of us in Group 2 were vying for the check, and I began coughing in my partners' backswings to maintain a 1 stroke margin. On the 18th, strategic layups and laser-like approaches (including through a tree for Sean - "they are 90% air", he commented) left us with an exciting putt-off finale on the tricky tiered green. Trying to avoid a '96 Greg Norman finish, I yipped the ball into the hole with a rare 2 putt and thanked the golf gods for an exciting victory and another check to display in my trophy room.



Other highlights:

Inspiring pre-round speech from Rod, who felt right at home at the site of his two previous Bastards victories and turned in a solid round despite the immense pressure of a three-peat bid.

Marshall Shortledge bests Douglas Haltinner, who left early and fired a DNF, for the Key to the Red Tees. Marshall did not leverage this advantage in the subsequent Fore! Championship in June.

Max Wasserman fought the blue tees valiantly. "The USGA is right, the ball is getting out of hand and these damned kids with their distance are destroying a beautiful game" said Max.

Spending April honeymooning in tropical locations did little for Neil Howard's sand game, though an all around solid outing did lead to his 85th low gross award. Neil was heard mumbling about penalty strokes and being penalized for being too good on his way to the parking lot.

Continuing a strong case for "Steve Stricker Comeback Player of the Year", Jon Slaton grabbed the trophy. Some said that he should be penalized for his 10 winter rounds in Hawaii while "working" on "business trips".

Zach Bennett modulated his score expertly to add another Most Mediocre to his trophy case.

Dan Frankowski forgot to do so, narrowly outpacing others' front/back differentials on the tough back nine and landing a "Biggest Meltdown" stress ball.

Event Results

1.James Hickman88$1.26
2.Sean McGee91$0.77
2.Neil Howard91$0.77
4.Bill Helmig93$0.60
4.Guido Cabron93$0.60
6.Shannon Lupton95$0.49
7.Andrew Meyer97$0.22
7.Logan Bernecker97$0.22
7.Mike Mallder97$0.22
7.Jason Natrop97$0.22
7.Eric Johnson97$0.22
7.Jon Mueller97$0.22
7.Max Wasserman97$0.22
14.Matt Arduini98$0.05
15.Zachary Bennett100$0.04
16.Rod Pnozzle102$0.02
17.Nathan Butler103$0.00
18.Jon Slaton104$0.00
19.Chad Meyers105$0.00
19.Donald O'Brien105$0.00
21.Carl Gottgetreu106$0.00
22.Keith Mallder110$0.00
23.Eric Anderson111$0.00
24.Zach Wester116$0.00
24.Dan Frankowski116$0.00
26.Marshall Shortledge126$0.00
27.Douglas HaltinnerDNF$0.00