Chapter News

Rookie Makes Noise for the First Time in 2019 – Turns Out He’s a Real Douche!

This Write-Up Brought to You By: The MGABoston Chapter Reporter

Due to weather concerns, the number of entrants ping-ponged wildly leading up to the 2019 Douche Bag Invitational.  Those who dropped out must have felt mighty foolish, as the round progressed under sunny skies and temps in the 70s.  We sent 20 players to battle the difficult Trull Brook course, making its first appearance after a couple years out of the rotation. 

At the turn there were a number of hopefuls in contention.  Some attribute Andrew Gordon’s struggles on the back 9, which won him the Meltdown Award, to a sketchy Buffalo Chicken sandwich acquired at the turn; a point further struck home as Gordon was unavailable to claim his award and 7th place check, having left the course immediately after finishing.  Michael Halbach was right behind Gordon’s 7-stroke meltdown, with a 6-stroke meltdown of his own; however Halbach did not have a chicken sandwich to blame his meltdown on, just his lack of keeping the driver in play.  Some say you can still hear him bitching about how far back the blue tees were; I’m sure everyone has their tiny violins at the ready.

As the final group came up 18, the leader in the clubhouse was sitting on 88.  Unbeknownst to The Commish, he needed a bogey to win or a double bogey to force a playoff.  Perhaps overthinking the moment, The Commish hit 3-wood off the tee, as opposed to his trusty driver; the tee shot sailed to the right flirting with the tree-line.  Confident he’d be able to find it, the group set off to hit their second shots.  After a generous interpretation of 3 minutes, the ball could not be found and was ruled lost, resulting in a 2-stroke penalty.  The 4th stroke found the green, but left a lot of work, even to 2 putt.  After a first putt which could only be categorized as ‘not his best’, there was a lot of pressure on the 8-footer left for double-bogey to force a playoff.  It was not to be, and The Commish putted out for a triple-bogey, and a second place finish, dashing any hopes of the 2019 Chapter Money List crown.


As a result of The Commish’s Van de Velde’ian efforts on 18, Boston MGA rookie William Gergits or ‘The Sheriff’ as he’s known in MGA circles, found himself victorious.  Along with the big check, he received the lovely neon visor.  The Sheriff is known for his different style of play, mainly the fact that he WALKS every round, shunning the cart even though it is included in the event cost.  Perhaps we’ll see an uptick in participants walking as opposed to riding?  I doubt it, as walking provides fewer cup holders.  We’ll see how he enjoys it from the blue tees in the next event.


For the second event in a row, Mark Moriarty laid claim to the Most Mediocre award.  Magically, some additional golden M’s were located to not only provide this event’s prize, but also belatedly for the Fore! event. 

Perhaps trying to exhibit the intent of the Red & Blue tee rules, Padraic Lacey (red tees) and Michael Halbach (blue tees) finished in a tie for 9th place.  

To no one’s surprise, Andy Southgate took home the long drive with a mammoth 325 yard blast.  

Obviously pre-chicken sandwich, Andrew Gordon grabbed the closest to the pin. 

With the top 3 on the chapter money list all finishing in the middle of the pack, not a lot changed heading into the year’s final event.  Halbach holds a slim lead over Dan Morse and Andrew Gordon and it will all be up for grabs at the Last Gasp.


Event Results

1.William T. Gergits88$1.35
2.Vin Ferraro89$0.90
3.Mike Berk90$0.75
4.Andrew Southgate91$0.68
5.Terry Boland94$0.60
6.Daniel Morse95$0.53
7.Andrew Gordon96$0.45
8.Glenn Lemieux97$0.38
9.Michael Halbach98$0.26
9.Padraic Lacey98$0.26
11.Mark Moriarty99$0.15
12.Derek Peabody100$0.08
13.Jonathan Scully102$0.07
14.Matt Boland104$0.05
15.Jake Stowell105$0.03
15.Alvaro Perez105$0.03
17.Christopher Higgins107$0.00
18.George Hunt113$0.00
18.Luis Nunez113$0.00
20.Bill Cronin119$0.00