Chapter News

Unofficial Rulebook of the Columbus MGA

By: John Leite
As the 2019 season quickly approaches I thought I should welcome our chapter’s newest members by sharing the unwritten rules that Jason won’t include in his official emails.  The following guidelines have been compiled by our members over the last few years.  If you adhere to these principles you will find great success in the Columbus MGA, but most likely not life.  
1. Don’t kill kids.  
2. If you are offered a warm bag of meat it is impolite to not accept it.
3. Under no circumstances should any member allow their gaze to drop below the Mariner’s waist line.
4. Montana is a lie created by the Zionist government. 
5. Dave is an asshole.
6. Don’t date women named Joyce.  
7. Don’t shout words of encouragement at female members.
8. Don’t date women from Eastern Europe.
9. New members cannot place bets with Josh until existing members have finalized their wagers.
10. Don’t buy a $30,000 ring for a woman you met a few weeks ago.
11. All knock-off watches should be sold in the parking lot with the other gypsies. 
We look forward to a great year of bad golf.